Gatewayoflastresort

Apple has certainly been cooking up something, and it's not good. Whenever I speak about how much Apple stinks I am usually talking about their terrible computers and substandard hardware. Apparently it’s not just their lousy technology that is stinking up a storm. The apple stores themselves are actually stinking and patrons are starting to notice. I came across this story recently and it cracked me up.

According to past reports there is a store in Santa Monica that has been reported for foul odors emanating from the inside of the shop. Perhaps it is from some of the hippy fan boys not showering? Indeed Apple acknowledged there was a problem. Of course in typical Apple fashion they tried to cover up the issue by blaming it on “too many human beings lingering and loitering”. According to the report another Apple spokesman when asked about the problem claimed it was from plumbing work going on underneath the building. Riiiiiiight. If you believe that baloney then I have some swamp land in Florida to sell you.

When the investigative bloggers pushed further, they finally got the real answer. As it turns out, the problem was not caused by people or plumbing but by Apple’s own stinky technology. Each Apple store has what’s called “air sniffers” (not packet sniffers) or sensors that sense changes in the air density which activates the ventilation systems within the stores. The sensors are being placed to high up in the air and are unable to detect the B.O. that was encompassing the stores. Ironic isn’t it?

This was the main apple store that just opened back in 2012. Those littler air “sniffers” not only can detect body odors, but also are designed to detect dangerous carbon monoxide emissions as well. Customers have also complained about a chemical odor too.

The sniffers are so small that you would probably not even notice them. In order to try and remedy the situation Apple has placed the sniffers at various new spots around the store in an attempt to create a perimeter of stench control. This isn’t just an isolated incident at one store. There are other apple stores that smell like ass too. I guess people have been complaining about the Apple store odors since 2007.

Remember Apple is supposed to be the industry leader in innovative technology and software. Their computers are supposed to be impervious to all viruses, problems and never breakdown. They claim their software is godly and you know Apple machines just work without any kind of maintenance or administration. Yet despite all of that Apple’s retail stores smell really bad because they misplaced air sensors around throughout the stores. Thank god I would have zero reason to ever walk into an apple store, but in case you ever need to the smell is at the worse in the mornings. Bring smelling salts. Apple is continuing to investigate the smells.

I still think the whole thing is hilarious. In all honesty their awful computers are far worse than any smell.